Do you value yourself? Do you criticize yourself excessively? Maybe you are suffering from a lack of self-love. Discover how to look for the love that is missing in you through psychology techniques.
We all want to improve. To a greater or lesser extent we think that we can get better, that our future will have something that could be better. We even compare ourselves with other people who “everything comes out the first time” and they get things easily while you go around the path several times to reach your final goal. Sometimes these perceptions are part of a lack of self love. But, how to love yourself?
One of the reasons why a person does not have love for yourself, is precisely the way in which she has been treated during her childhood. The family environment greatly influences our self-esteem. If our parents have a positive idea of themselves, our self-esteem is much more likely to be greater. If, on the contrary, we have seen a lack of self-love in our parents since childhood, with emotional distance, criticism or even disqualification towards us, there is no doubt that our self-love will be very low. As a result of this last situation, we will be much more exposed away from home, where it will be difficult for us to defend ourselves and we may even be afraid of success.
What is self love? Meaning
He self love and its meaning It refers precisely to the state of appreciation that a person has for himself due to the actions, sensations and experiences that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. In this way, self-love and self-esteem involve taking care of our own needs without having to sacrifice our well-being to try to please others. Therefore, self-love means not having to settle for less than what you deserve.
He self-love It means something completely different to everyone, yet we all have many different ways of taking care of ourselves and showing ourselves the appreciation we deserve. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health. The percentage of love we show to ourselves is the way we show ourselves to others and therefore also shapes what our relationships with others are like.
When someone says “I don’t love myself“ or is full of insecurities this means that self-love does not exist. In most cases where this type of love towards ourselves does not exist, they tend to be people who seek perfectionism excessively and who do not tolerate their own mistakes. That is why, to find the love that is forever, you must work on your own self-compassion and self-esteem.
Signs that you don’t have self-love
You may not be aware that you are missing self-love in your life. Therefore, here we will show you some of the signs that can show us that there is a lack of self-love and self-esteem.
- Doubt yourself: Against less love percentage you have towards yourself, the more doubts you will have towards yourself. People with a lack of self-love tend to be very insecure in their decisions and are afraid of certain situations in their daily lives.
- Fear of the opinions of others: Everyone cares what people say about them. But one of the curious facts about love It is precisely that the less affection we have for ourselves, the more importance we give to the opinions of others.
- Recurring negative thoughts: Negativity and obsessive thoughts are also one of the signs that there is a lack of self love and its meaning. This internal dialogue makes people see life through a dark filter, affecting many aspects of your life.
- Constantly judge: When people judge others this is usually a sign that we also do it excessively towards ourselves. Love yourself It involves being kind and humble before others, without having to continually judge others.
- Fear of saying your opinions: He self love and self esteem They are always very accompanied. For this precise reason, whoever can talk about self-love also shows that he is a person with good self-esteem. Conversely, when we doubt our worth, our mind can constantly make excuses for why you don’t have the right to speak our truth or our opinions.
Whatever the situation we have experienced, it is in our hands to realize that we lack of self-love and that we need to work on it to recover it. If you feel identified with any of these situations, it means that you require the help of a psychologist and you need to spend more time within yourself.
Self-love and self-esteem
He self love and self esteem They are very similar concepts but with a small, although important difference. Self-esteem points to what we think, feel and believe about ourselves. On the other hand, when we talk about self-love we are recognizing ourselves as valuable human beings who deserve to be loved.
Why is self-love important for our emotional stability?
He self-love It is very important to be able to have good emotional stability as well as to feel valued, safe and valid for ourselves and for others. In this way, having self-love implies the following for our mental health:
- Talk to yourself with respect and love
- Prioritize yourself
- Take a break when you need it
- Be true to your values and yourself
- Be kind to yourself
- Have confidence in yourself
- Set healthy boundaries
- Forgive yourself
For many people self love is synonymous to take care of oneself, that is, to take care of one’s mental and physical health. But achieving it requires daily work and effort. For this reason, if you think you suffer from low self-esteem and low self-esteem, it may be appropriate for you to go to a professional psychologist.
How to love myself?
According to psychologists, we can work on self-love and self-esteem through these exercises. In this way we should not look for the love that we lack in others but within ourselves. To do this, you can use these techniques to love yourself.
- Examine the way you express yourself to others: How we show ourselves or speak to others determines the way we see ourselves and What is self-love like?. If you think about what your words are like or how you express yourself, you will realize the aspects where you show negativity. Start expressing yourself positively. Surely, at first you will feel forced but as you do it it will come out on its own and you will be able to improve your self-love.
- Observe the people around you: The people who are close to you at all times have a lot to do with your self-loveWell, if you surround yourself with toxic people you will never look good. It is necessary to realize the people who steal your energy and those who want good for you and help you achieve everything you deserve.
- Plan what makes you feel good: Feeling good doesn’t mean going to the gym to be physically active. Feeling good is the combination of body, mind and emotions. Therefore, you will need to be active and carry out those activities that allow you to reach a positive state in the three areas to achieve personal well-being. For look for love We must give ourselves and not try to please others.
- Value what you do have: You can make a list if you want or think about it. Think about the effort it has taken you to achieve everything you have, what it allows you to do and what it compensates you. Who can talk about self lovecan value both its defects and its virtues.
- Take responsibility: You must take the reins of change to be able to use constants phrases about self love in your life. In order to achieve this, you must take responsibility for each of your actions. Therefore, apologize to those people you may have harmed with your attitude and start healing these relationships. It’s time to start behaving in a completely different way and look for love in yourself to show it to others.
- Don’t try to be perfect: Perfectionism can do a lot of damage to self-love and self-esteem. Being perfect is not necessary to look for love in ourselves. To have a good capacity to love ourselves we must accept ourselves as imperfect beings. Leave perfection behind and try to do things the best way you can without giving so much importance to the results. He love for oneself It must start small and end up evolving into big things.
- Express gratitude: We must recognize everything we have in our lives that makes us happy. Therefore, you must learn to give thanks for everything around you and what you have inside you. The first step to love yourself It is precisely loving my comfort zone and everything that has made us ourselves.
- Smile whenever you can: Much research has shown that smiling and laughing makes people feel much better and appear more approachable and even more attractive to others. Therefore, smiling is really one of the best techniques to love yourself since through this small act we can begin to feel much better about ourselves.
- Stop and enjoy: Always being involved in work or making an effort makes you a person who is too focused on the future. In this way, on many occasions we people forget to enjoy our present and try to savor the moments that life gives us. To work on self-love and self-esteem We must take time to be in the now and stop the pace of our lives.
“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you will cry alone.”
Ella Wheeler, poet
It is a mistake to try to look for love in others to validate that we are worthy of being loved by others. The reality is that we must leave behind the opinions of others and try to work on who we are inside. The more you look inward, the more you will let go of the judgments of others. He love for oneself It is the secret to reaching your best version.
